In case you don't know, I'm a convert to adoption of children with special needs, especially those that come from areas that do not value them as human beings. My new favorite site is Reece's Rainbow, and adoption ministry that advocates for children with special needs from other countries, and specifically advocates for children with Down syndrome.
I have read on many, many blogs and web sites that parents of children with Down syndrome end up adopting more kids with Ds. "Why?" you may ask? Well, all I can do is repeat a quote from one site "I didn't know I wanted a child with Down syndrome, until I had one". Unless you've been there, it's very hard to explain the absolute, committed, uninhibited, soul-touching love you both receive and give when you have a child with Down syndrome. Your appreciation of life expands a million-fold. I find as a would-be writer that I am speechless in the face of this amazing phenomenon.
I love reading the descriptions and stories of redemption and inspiration on Reece's Rainbow, and recently fell in love with a little girl whose screen name is Albina. I have heard adoptive parents describe how they just instantly KNEW when they saw THEIR child. I never understood this. I think that all the children are darling, and loved to read their stories, and say prayers for their rescue or release every night.... but then I saw Albina, and my heart was lost. Now I get it.
Although I would take any steps to rescue this angel, in reality it must be a partnership of parents that commit to a child. So, I prayed and prayed and wished and hoped for Albina to be spared the fate of a mental institution when she turns 5 and ages out of her country's "Baby House" care. My prayers were answered, and I can do nothing but REJOICE for this little girl, who will have a family and love and a chance to LIVE.
Now, the flip side. I grieve that I will never meet her, never be able to hold her in my arms and whisper in her ear to let her know just how loved she is. How can I feel such grief amidst such joy that she will be saved? It makes no sense, but there it is. I can't change it. It's just the way I feel.
So, I go on with every day tasks, but in my heart I miss Albina.
My kids inspire me every day to get up, get moving, and learn. They bug me and tease me into doing things I may not want to do. They chatter and bicker until I just want to plug my ears and throw my hands in the air with a plaintive "why me!?". Then they make an observation or ask a question that just makes my heart sing, and I really don't care about daily frustrations and aggravations and trials. It's ok, because I have the very great privilege of having them here with me, where I can make sure they know they are loved and wanted.
That being said, I'm putting over 60 miles a day on my van this week, just to get them to their activities and camps. Even when I'm grumpy or yell at them, they'll tell me "that's ok, Mom. You're just having a bad day". You can't get much better than that. Their understanding and insight sometimes astounds me.
However, if I have to ask those boys to clean their room one more time so I can actually get in there to put clean clothes away, I may just show them how much I love them by taking away their computer time (which to them is a fate worse than death)! Just trying to keep a perspective.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
With a Grateful Heart
Another holiday weekend... the newspaper ads, the fight to get into the grocery store's shortest line, the decorations and picnic plans, the food. We plan for all of these things without a thought in our head but how quickly we can get them done, and how we can maximize our play time.
I'd like to take a moment to stop and say a heart-felt thank you to all of the men and women, past and present, that have made my selfish life possible. In the past, this allowed my ancestors the right to feed their own families, to make their own homes, to practice their own religion, to stand up and be heard. In the present, with a few modern twists, it means the same.
Since I'm on the subject of thanks, I would like to thank my husband and kids for always being there for me, and for supporting me. Everyone needs someone to care; at least 1 person in this world that you can count on to accept you. So, I "give thanks with a grateful heart" that I have the freedom and the luxury to have that. As I am enjoying the good food, fun, and frivolous decorations, I won't forget to say "thank you" in my heart.
I'd like to take a moment to stop and say a heart-felt thank you to all of the men and women, past and present, that have made my selfish life possible. In the past, this allowed my ancestors the right to feed their own families, to make their own homes, to practice their own religion, to stand up and be heard. In the present, with a few modern twists, it means the same.
Since I'm on the subject of thanks, I would like to thank my husband and kids for always being there for me, and for supporting me. Everyone needs someone to care; at least 1 person in this world that you can count on to accept you. So, I "give thanks with a grateful heart" that I have the freedom and the luxury to have that. As I am enjoying the good food, fun, and frivolous decorations, I won't forget to say "thank you" in my heart.
Monday, June 27, 2011
How Time Flies
Time to reminisce a bit, so if you don't like schmaltz, you've been given fair warning ;)
Thirteen years ago today, just about this time of night, I went into labor with our first child. We didn't know beforehand if it was going to be a boy or a girl. We just knew we wanted and loved our baby. My water broke about 10 pm, and we were in the hospital somewhere around midnight. My labor progressed fairly quickly, and at 3:43 a.m., with no drugs and no epidural, Jakob was born.
What a monumental phrase... Jakob was born. Wow. What an amazing, beautiful little 6 lb 14 oz. gift he was. Little did we know what a delightful boy and wonderful young man he would become. He had long hair when he was born that stuck straight up, no matter how much you combed it. His uncle used to call him "Kramer" for his hair. After a few months, his hair turned bright red before it settled into a nice golden brown. His littlest sister has the exact same hair color, with red highlights. I love it.
Over the past few months Jakob has been growing by leaps and bounds. He'll be as tall as I am soon. How time flies... my angels have grown so much, and taught me so much, and given me so much more than they'll ever realize. That includes, of course, the streak of grey hair and sleepless nights of worry, but that's ok :) I'd do it over again in a heartbeat for them.
A Very Happy Birthday (in just a few short hours!) to my Jakob. Time might fly, but I'm so grateful and proud that we've been the ones to take this flight with him.
Thirteen years ago today, just about this time of night, I went into labor with our first child. We didn't know beforehand if it was going to be a boy or a girl. We just knew we wanted and loved our baby. My water broke about 10 pm, and we were in the hospital somewhere around midnight. My labor progressed fairly quickly, and at 3:43 a.m., with no drugs and no epidural, Jakob was born.
What a monumental phrase... Jakob was born. Wow. What an amazing, beautiful little 6 lb 14 oz. gift he was. Little did we know what a delightful boy and wonderful young man he would become. He had long hair when he was born that stuck straight up, no matter how much you combed it. His uncle used to call him "Kramer" for his hair. After a few months, his hair turned bright red before it settled into a nice golden brown. His littlest sister has the exact same hair color, with red highlights. I love it.
Over the past few months Jakob has been growing by leaps and bounds. He'll be as tall as I am soon. How time flies... my angels have grown so much, and taught me so much, and given me so much more than they'll ever realize. That includes, of course, the streak of grey hair and sleepless nights of worry, but that's ok :) I'd do it over again in a heartbeat for them.
A Very Happy Birthday (in just a few short hours!) to my Jakob. Time might fly, but I'm so grateful and proud that we've been the ones to take this flight with him.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Endings
Tomorrow is the last day of school for the kids. Abigail had her graduation day for preschool, the twins had field day and made tie-dye shirts, and Jakob's class had a party for a retiring teacher that everyone loves. Hmmmm.... sounds like these half days are really useful and definitely further the academic experience of my children (a bit of sarcasm there-sorry).
Any way, since it's Wednesday, I thought I'd throw out some philosophy for you. Endings. Some endings your dread, some endings you anticipate, and some endings are just... endings for which the time has come. My Dad used to tell us that in the end, everything would work out. Oh, how I longed to dispute that! After all, as a teenager and young adult, we knew better than our parents, right? Ha! If only I knew then what I know now. Dad was right.
Here's a saying that used to be pinned up on my Grandmother's cupboard. I like it so much that one year I had it reproduced and framed for all of my siblings, both as a remembrance and as a reminder. "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, ... and all is well". Trite? maybe. Schmaltzy? perhaps. True? ABSOLUTELY!
By the by, I'm going back to working on some of my books I never got to finish. I guess the problem is, there's no easy way to get them printed & published. I've asked around, and received answers with instructions about going through guilds, having artists assigned to decide how it should be illustrated (I already know exactly what I want it to look like), or that I have to be a member of a writer's association, etc., etc.
How the heck did J.K. Rowling do it? :)
Any way, since it's Wednesday, I thought I'd throw out some philosophy for you. Endings. Some endings your dread, some endings you anticipate, and some endings are just... endings for which the time has come. My Dad used to tell us that in the end, everything would work out. Oh, how I longed to dispute that! After all, as a teenager and young adult, we knew better than our parents, right? Ha! If only I knew then what I know now. Dad was right.
Here's a saying that used to be pinned up on my Grandmother's cupboard. I like it so much that one year I had it reproduced and framed for all of my siblings, both as a remembrance and as a reminder. "Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday, ... and all is well". Trite? maybe. Schmaltzy? perhaps. True? ABSOLUTELY!
By the by, I'm going back to working on some of my books I never got to finish. I guess the problem is, there's no easy way to get them printed & published. I've asked around, and received answers with instructions about going through guilds, having artists assigned to decide how it should be illustrated (I already know exactly what I want it to look like), or that I have to be a member of a writer's association, etc., etc.
How the heck did J.K. Rowling do it? :)
Monday, June 13, 2011
Proud of My Girl
.... and a busy Monday ensued. Mondays are usually hectic because it's also Scout day for both boys & 'the girl'. Boy Scouts ended in May (what a blessing, and my boys were so awesome!). Girls Scouts has been going strong with projects and outings right up to, and including, today. It was the last meeting day and also their badge ceremony. All the girls lit a candle as part of the GS pledge and spoke a little about what they learned this year in Scouts and what they enjoyed most.
The girls made scrap books for each leader, and also painted wind chimes. There were goodies after the ceremony and tons of giggles. Cassidy did a great job (of course!) and earned a bunch of badges for her sash. Next year we'll have to get a new one in that lovely khaki color for the next level. By the way, just a side note...if you think about it, who came up with the word "khaki" as a name for a color, anyway?
So, finally time to catch a breath before tackling tomorrow. End of school is always hard for my kids. They both do and don't want it to end. The summer is already filling up with camps and events, too. I think a good plan for me at the moment is to go to bed and not think about it until the morning. I keep telling myself "tonight I'll get some good sleep", and I always end working late.
My cat has decided to get in the game, now. She usually comes and stretches herself out along my side and purrs when I go to bed. I think she's trying to tell me it's time to snooze. She's such a comfort.
The girls made scrap books for each leader, and also painted wind chimes. There were goodies after the ceremony and tons of giggles. Cassidy did a great job (of course!) and earned a bunch of badges for her sash. Next year we'll have to get a new one in that lovely khaki color for the next level. By the way, just a side note...if you think about it, who came up with the word "khaki" as a name for a color, anyway?
So, finally time to catch a breath before tackling tomorrow. End of school is always hard for my kids. They both do and don't want it to end. The summer is already filling up with camps and events, too. I think a good plan for me at the moment is to go to bed and not think about it until the morning. I keep telling myself "tonight I'll get some good sleep", and I always end working late.
My cat has decided to get in the game, now. She usually comes and stretches herself out along my side and purrs when I go to bed. I think she's trying to tell me it's time to snooze. She's such a comfort.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Friday Nights
When I was a little girl, Friday nights were always a big deal. It's the one night of the week we would get to make popcorn, or go for ice cream, or even (if we were very lucky) order submarine sandwiches from Guy's Subs. Oooh, what a treat that was!
Without even meaning to, I think I've passed this on to my kids. When Friday night rolls around, it's always a little celebration. For us, it's often movie night with the kids and we'll watch something together. Sometimes we'll go out for dinner.
I still remember my Dad coming home and sitting in his chair taking off his shoes, and there all 5 of us were, whispering amongst ourselves trying to decide if we dared ask for subs, or go for the popcorn. My Dad knew exactly what we were up to, but he'd play along and just laugh or have a 'debate' with us to see if we REALLY wanted to get a treat? Were we SURE? Great memory. I miss my Dad.
Tonight my kids are down cellar with their cousin watching a movie with David. I'm headed down there myself very soon. They're having a great time (I hear lots of conversation and laughs) and spending time just being together. I think this is one family tradition most definitely worth keeping.
Without even meaning to, I think I've passed this on to my kids. When Friday night rolls around, it's always a little celebration. For us, it's often movie night with the kids and we'll watch something together. Sometimes we'll go out for dinner.
I still remember my Dad coming home and sitting in his chair taking off his shoes, and there all 5 of us were, whispering amongst ourselves trying to decide if we dared ask for subs, or go for the popcorn. My Dad knew exactly what we were up to, but he'd play along and just laugh or have a 'debate' with us to see if we REALLY wanted to get a treat? Were we SURE? Great memory. I miss my Dad.
Tonight my kids are down cellar with their cousin watching a movie with David. I'm headed down there myself very soon. They're having a great time (I hear lots of conversation and laughs) and spending time just being together. I think this is one family tradition most definitely worth keeping.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Plans
Has it really been a month since my last post? Wow. Time does have a tendency to fly when you're really busy. It's been a bit crazier than usual around our house, lately. I guess it's just the summer months (finally) coming along. I find that more and more often, I'm just making plans.
It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Just making plans. Typically, your kids finish the school year amid shouts of joy, and then you sort of wait until late August to find some bargains on supplies and shoes. Of course, we all know my family seems to want to be the atypical poster child, so to speak.
At the pediatrician's today, plans were reviewed and made for Abigail to be able to continue receiving therapies over the summer break. Phone calls and emails have been rushing back and forth making plans for Jakob to have a smooth transition (never an easy task) out of school and in to summer. Yes, we actually have to plan this. See my link on Asperger Syndrome to learn more about autism and how difficult ANY changes can be.
I'm planning a garage sale to help offset the cost of having our basement finished and to get the tons of extra stuff we have OUT of the house (please come!). Plans are in the works for Kyle and Cassidy to attend Camp Invention, and for Jakob to attend a Culinary Camp in July. Camping as a family would be a nice plan once or twice this year. Boy Scouts are planning for their late July week-long trek into the wild. We're planning on attending the NDSC National Convention on Down syndrome again this year in San Antonio, TX in August. Cassidy and I are trying to plan a Girl Scout project for "recycling and recreating" over the summer. All the kids need appointments for new eye glasses and the dentist.
I'm sure there are more plans that need to be made, but for now I think I'm full up. Oh! I have also begun, and plan on continuing, to work with Abigail daily on speech/word flash cards. She seems to enjoy it and also seems to show some improvement. Go, girlie!
Meanwhile, I think it's time to plan another dose of Motrin for the headache that I most definitely did NOT plan for :) Somewhere in between all the phone calls and running about, I need to make time to use my massage certificate. Oh, how I am looking forward to planning THAT!
It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Just making plans. Typically, your kids finish the school year amid shouts of joy, and then you sort of wait until late August to find some bargains on supplies and shoes. Of course, we all know my family seems to want to be the atypical poster child, so to speak.
At the pediatrician's today, plans were reviewed and made for Abigail to be able to continue receiving therapies over the summer break. Phone calls and emails have been rushing back and forth making plans for Jakob to have a smooth transition (never an easy task) out of school and in to summer. Yes, we actually have to plan this. See my link on Asperger Syndrome to learn more about autism and how difficult ANY changes can be.
I'm planning a garage sale to help offset the cost of having our basement finished and to get the tons of extra stuff we have OUT of the house (please come!). Plans are in the works for Kyle and Cassidy to attend Camp Invention, and for Jakob to attend a Culinary Camp in July. Camping as a family would be a nice plan once or twice this year. Boy Scouts are planning for their late July week-long trek into the wild. We're planning on attending the NDSC National Convention on Down syndrome again this year in San Antonio, TX in August. Cassidy and I are trying to plan a Girl Scout project for "recycling and recreating" over the summer. All the kids need appointments for new eye glasses and the dentist.
I'm sure there are more plans that need to be made, but for now I think I'm full up. Oh! I have also begun, and plan on continuing, to work with Abigail daily on speech/word flash cards. She seems to enjoy it and also seems to show some improvement. Go, girlie!
Meanwhile, I think it's time to plan another dose of Motrin for the headache that I most definitely did NOT plan for :) Somewhere in between all the phone calls and running about, I need to make time to use my massage certificate. Oh, how I am looking forward to planning THAT!
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