Learning Curve

Since Abigail was born, I've discovered that there is a definite pattern to our learning curves. When necessary, we learn. Once we have assimilated the information, we move forward and don't always seek out new learning opportunities until it's needed. This happens for several reasons, one of which is time.

Just about any parent will tell you that kids take time. Lots of time. Appointments, concerts, activities, therapies for children with different needs, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry.... the list goes on. Yet, when the need arises, we find time to learn.

I am finding the time to learn again.

Abigail had an ENT appointment this week and I requested another hearing test. I requested one last year, but since Abbie was progressing with her speech therapy, it was deemed unnecessary. Yes, I'm doubting myself again. I should have insisted. Could have, should have, would have. Ugh. Around and around I go.

This time, the Doc agreed and Abigail had a hearing test showing that she has hearing loss. I knew she could hear, but I also knew that something just wasn't quite right. She should be progressing further with speech. She shouldn't be transposing sounds and confusing words so often when she so obviously is observant, attentive, and bright. She doesn't answer to speech in a noisy environment.

Please don't get me wrong. I can live with this. I figure that after Kyle's two surgeries, Kyle having been tested for leukemia, Jakob's autism diagnosis, Abigail's diagnosis of Down syndrome, and her open heart bypass surgery at 5 1/2 months, this is really not a major concern. We all view "major" in different ways, I know. Hearing loss is do-able. It is life-changing, but it is not life threatening.

So here I go again, learning about hearing deficits and what types of devices and/or therapies would be best to 'fix' the problem. Next month Abigail will have a second hearing test to confirm the diagnosis and numbers (to define the severity of the hearing loss). Then we'll discuss strategies, as the Doc. put it.

Yes, of course I'll do it. No, of course I don't mind doing anything to help my kids.... BUT... I hate this. I hate that it's necessary. I hate that she's been missing so much for who knows how long. I hate that she could be speaking and has missed out during the prime speech development stages of her young life.

I just feel the need to express my Mommy growl. *Rrrrrggghhhh!*