Today I had a nice conversation with Abigail's Speech Therapist. For the last few years, we have requested that her ST be increased. After all, she's now almost 4 1/2 and she's not talking. True, she's made some progress and says a few words, but really....she's 4 1/2!
So, the ST wanted to make sure I wasn't upset or surprised when I read in her report that she's is extremely severely delayed in speech. I knew that. I also know that in order to continue services, the therapists have to show a certain percentage of delay or significant deficit.
Well, Abigail's got that for sure. She falls in the 1-2 percentile. Yes, 1 to 2. Maybe they can finally get her ST increased? As a parent, I understand and accept that intellectually. As a parent, that also breaks my heart. It's obvious she can understand what you're saying, and can communicate via sign, gesture, and body language and the occasional word.
However, I need for her to be speaking before she starts Kindergarten. I need for her to be able to express herself. I need for her to be able to demonstrate her comprehension in a way that the greater bulk of people she meets will understand. I need reassurance. I need faith. I need sleep. I need "the peace that passes human understanding", and right now it's eluding me. I need to just hold my beautiful, amazing daughter that can't talk, and tell her how much I adore her. I wish she were still tiny so I could scoop her out of her crib and just hold her all night long.