Friday, April 1, 2011

Got the "Severe" Blues

Today I had a nice conversation with Abigail's Speech Therapist.  For the last few years, we have requested that her ST be increased.  After all, she's now almost 4 1/2 and she's not talking.  True, she's made some progress and says a few words, but really....she's 4 1/2!

So, the ST wanted to make sure I wasn't upset or surprised when I read in her report that she's is extremely severely delayed in speech.  I knew that.  I also know that in order to continue services, the therapists have to show a certain percentage of delay or significant deficit. 

Well, Abigail's got that for sure.  She falls in the 1-2 percentile.  Yes, 1 to 2.  Maybe they can finally get her ST increased?  As a parent, I understand and accept that intellectually.  As a parent, that also breaks my heart.  It's obvious she can understand what you're saying, and can communicate via sign, gesture, and body language and the occasional word.

However, I need for her to be speaking before she starts Kindergarten.  I need for her to be able to express herself.  I need for her to be able to demonstrate her comprehension in a way that the greater bulk of people she meets will understand.  I need reassurance.  I need faith.  I need sleep.  I need "the peace that passes human understanding", and right now it's eluding me.  I need to just hold my beautiful, amazing daughter that can't talk, and tell her how much I adore her.  I wish she were still tiny so I could scoop her out of her crib and just hold her all night long.

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